A Beautiful Spring Day

Today was a beauuuutiful day! In the high 60's with the sun raining down on us and a cool breeze blowing. Perfect combination. Chris and I went to The Heritage Gardens. They have a beautiful pond with ducks and a couple benches to sit and enjoy. Chris, my bestest friend in the world, is a fabulous photographer --check out her website. She offered to take some pictures of me and they turned out good. I couldn't seem to get them all posted here, so check out the rest on facebook.




















I was playing with shadows. This is a thumbs up for a the beautiful day.





















The first of the beautiful shots Chris snapped.















































Self-portrait of me and Chris.









































I love seeing Lilac all over Colorado this time of year. It has the brightest color and most wonderful fragrance [long inhale...ahhh].

It think it's officially springtime in Colorado Springs!

Peace is Joy!

Something I've been surprised to discover in the last four-ish years of my life is how my God has responded to the smallest prayers in my life. Growing up, I constantly saw all my flaws and was painfully aware of my shortcomings. They seemed so overwhelming, that I would push them to the back of my mind, by watching TV or immersing myself in other stories...anything to keep from having to face them head on.

These areas, haunting me in the back of my mind and heart, always kept me from being lighthearted and free to engage with other people. If I were to walk into a group of people I did not know, I would be very shy and certain they did not like me...simply because I was afraid they would think the same thing of my flaws that I did. Ugly.

But in the past four years, God has done a beautiful thing. As one of these things would surface from the back of my mind, instead of instant fear, I could feel him letting me know he wasn't afraid of this thing; that he wouldn't reject me for this flaw. And through that, I had the courage to look it head on and in honest sincerity, say, Lord, I don't know what to do about this. It's stupid or ugly and I don't want to be this way...will you fix it?

Some things, like learning to prefer others over me seemed to take forever. I remember always trying to get my way. I simply liked what I liked and if someone else didn't then I would try and persuade them to my point of view, because that was the only way I'd enjoy myself.

I remember noticing this when Chris and I would want to go see a movie. We have very different tastes; she prefers martial arts films and heavy duty action flicks and I like romantic comedies and not-so-heavy action flicks. Whenever we'd go see a movie, it would turn into this.

Me: What do you want to see?
Chris: Ooh...how about Mission Impossible 3?
Me: (Involuntary face scrunch) Well, that's alright, but I really think you'd enjoy seeing 27 Dresses? What do you think? Huh, huh? I'm sure you'll like it.
Chris: Okay, I'll go see 27 Dresses with you.

Now, this isn't a direct quote but I began to realize that my happiness was determined in getting my preference. This bothered me. So I began praying to the Lord, asking for the ability to care about Chris so that I could freely go with her to whatever movie she wanted without having to get my own way.

I stumbled and struggled and kept feeling this ickiness in my heart...and every time I did it, I would ask the Lord again. Finally, one day, Chris really wanted to see a new martial arts flick and this is what went through my mind..."I really don't want to see that flick, but I think Chris would really enjoy it. I don't have to thoroughly enjoy the movie to go see it with her. Okay, I'll go. I think she'll have fun at it."

And BOOM it hit me...this was a turning point! I had chosen to do something for my friend, willingly, because I knew she'd enjoy it. It wasn't a painful...fight to the death with my flesh...saying YOU WILL GO BECAUSE IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO! No! It had just become more important to me to see her enjoy something than for me to enjoy it myself.

The joy inside of me began to grow. I could see a flicker of light ahead. I began to see the power of God working in my life...in real life. He'd given me the power to prefer someone over myself and it felt amazing!

This is only one example of the things I've chosen to face over the years. But the thing that brings me comfort, is that when issues present themselves, I'm not afraid to go to God with them. I'm know he's not ashamed of me or waiting to punish me. There is a confidence that he's waiting for me to show it to him and ask for help. There's a knowing that it brings him joy when I have confidence to bring it to him for an answer.

Over the last four years, as I encounter these turning points, I have become much more easy going. I don't have to be in control -- most of the time (suppressing a chuckle) -- I enjoy doing new things that others want to try. I am able to admit I have flaws and am a work in progress because I'm not so threatened. I know, that when my flesh rises up or the enemy tries to tempt me, that the Lord is not ashamed. He is the one who loves me and says "What is it? I can fix it. No need to be ashamed."

I know there are many things yet to be encountered but the past several years have brought a measure of peace I have never known. I am confident in saying that I am walking with the Lord and he is pleased to have me with him. And I'm thrilled that he has asked me to join him in the journey. He fights for me. He protects me. He offers me a comfort and a peace when I'm struggling with myself. This is the greatest joy I've ever known and I wanted to share that with you all.

An Afternoon in Denver with Wade

I drove up to Denver Saturday afternoon to have lunch with my brother, Wade. Samantha, his wife, and he are in conferences in Denver. I am expecting a fun visit with them later this week. However, I had time available on Saturday and since he also did, we got to share lunch and a walk up and down the 16th Street Mall. It's basically a row of shops and restaurants along one street in Downtown Denver. It's what I imagine a NYC street looks like.

Wade and I

This guy was creating painting with spray paint. It was very cool to see.

The Denver Skyline from Wade's hotel room.

Pep Talk

Sometimes you just need a pep talk.

Thursday and Friday were not good days. I was feeling dejected and a bit hopeless. I'm having trouble losing weight. I eat pretty good except for those darn stinkin' sweets...my sweet tooth is the size of Texas some days. And with the amount of excercise I've been doing, I had imagined I would be melting away the pounds...but not yet. If any, it must be coming off in 1/4 pounds per week.

On my way out of the office on Friday I was sharing a bit with Jenny, my sweet and understanding co-worker. She listened and shared how she understood but it was a few words she said that really encouraged me. She shared how she saw me, that I was one of the most determined people she knew and she had no doubt that I would reach my goals.

I thank the Lord for her and for her pep talk. I really needed it at that moment and God knew it. Thanks to them both I'm encouraged and pressing on.

If you get a second, check out Jenny's blog. It's one of my favorites.

The Excercise Ball

I put together a really good strength workout from a couple youtube videos. I went searching for excercises that can be done with a big excercise ball, since I have one. I'm so proud of myself for finding something on youtube.com rather than feeling the need to buy into one of those really expensive excercise video clubs.

From the first video, I do all the excercises. I do the first two from the second video. From the first video I discovered the hardest technique and the one I like the best looks the simplest but really kicks my butt (well, technically my arms, back and abs). On your knees you set the ball in front of you just to where you can reach it with your finger tips. You then roll out onto the ball leaning forward as you would in a plank or pushup and then roll back. Watch it and see if you don't think it looks very easy.
But I dare you...try it. I'd love to get your reaction to it.

These are the excercises I do on the couple days a week that I'm not biking or ellipticall-ing.

Any fun workouts you've found that really strengthen your muscles?

A bit sore today

Last night's workout was tough. It was 50 min in total. I spent 10 min warming up on the bike and then did 6 sets of 2 min hard and 1 min easy pedaling. I always try to push myself. I don't like listening to the voice in my head that tells me I can take it easy. I mean c'mon, isn't that what I've been doing most of my life (regarding excercise)? I have to something different.

So normal fast RPMs on the bike for me are between 95-100. So I wanted to do better last night. I kept a couple of the fast 2 min segments at around 110 RPMs and then for the last, I kept hearing Master Kunkel say "This is your last. Make it your best!" So I pushed as hard as I could and got it up to 120 RPMs. Whew! I did it! I finished up with 6 minutes of pretty easy riding at about 80 RPMs.

Then onto the elliptical. With my legs already burning I knew these last 16 minutes would be hard. I was supposed to do 10 min moderate and 6 min easy. I guess moderate for me would be 50 RPMs but I'm trying to increase that, so I shot for between 55-60 rpms. That lasted for about 6 minutes and then I had to bring it down (right around 50 rpms). I didn't know if I'd actually be able to finish but I kept pushing and I did.

I am trying to focus on celebrating when I make it through a really tough workout. Usually I'm a little pooped and feeling worn out and just glad it's done but I am finding I really need to celebrate these accomplishments. It changes my mindset from being a big woman on a bike trying to do something I can't to that of an athlete. :)

What's a recent accomplishment I can celebrate with you?

Accomplishment!

To give you a little back-story, because being a good story teller means I have to, prior to about one month ago, my least favorite piece of equipment at the gym was the Elliptical (not counting the stairsteppers, which I don't even count as a possibility at this point).

Prior to my Black Belt test and through about a year ago, I could spend a good half hour on the treadmill, even about 15 minutes jogging and be fine, but I would get on the Elliptical and last no more than 3 minutes and then I would hurt like the dickens for days. I just decided my body wasn't built for it.

But having trouble with my knees as I've been training this year I've had to try knew things. I've spent a lot of time on the bike and decided several weeks ago that I'd give the elliptical a go. After riding the bike for a good workout I went to the elliptical and lasted 7 whole minutes!

But until today, I hadn't lasted more than 21 minutes and THAT was a BIG accomplishment.

However, tonight, I went for a full 30 minutes! I'm not speedy but I did last 30 minutes. That's after riding the bike for 10 min to warm up and then I finished with another 14 minutes on the bike.

Small stuff for some but an accomplishment I'm proud to share!

What do you think about the Elliptical?